A SHOW? YOU WANT A SHOW?!

Lissen Up!  This is what happens when a good team begins to lose its' focus:

I dunno about you, but when I'm putting my iPod away, I usually wrap the earbud headphones around the iPod.  What I learned is that when you do that, you can strip the delicate audio mechanism inside your iPod, losing one of the 2 audio channels.

So, last Friday, I took off early to scramble down to the Apple Store in Soho.  My iPod was still under warranty and I also have a Square Deal warranty as backup.  I dodge through the pedestrian mall that is Prince Street and amble up the white marble stairs towards Apple's Genius Bar, where techies listen and address all concerns Apple.

A Contested Lay-up

I was approached by a young woman who asked if I had a reservation at the Bar.  I said no, and in my mind,  I was willing to wait my time, until a technical support Genius could see me.  The young lady said to me, "Oh, I'm sorry- we will not be able to see you today".  I asked why not?  "We are preparing for a concert in awhile and cannot take any walk-ins."

TWEET!  TECHNICAL FOUL!

Um, excuse me?- I say.  She repeats herself and, well, I started to turn into Earl Weaver, interrupting her measured speech. 

Let's Go To the Videotape! (Using technology with today's lesson kiddies!)   :)

Earl Weaver- for all of you who don't know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl-4FSRYagc

It's The Fundamentals

There's no way you're gonna tell me that I can't see a tech guy because you're gonna have a show. YOU WANT A SHOW?  Call up a manager here pronto!

Here comes Ms Fasttalker, the manager, who also had a preset shpiel.  I can't quote her verbatim, but it sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher:  "Blah, Bla-blah..."  So, I says to her:  So you trying to tell me that because you're going to do a show, I can't get my iPod checked, and that hosting a rock show has more clout to you that customer satisfaction with your products?  The store isn't closing for sales, but you trying to tell me that as a longtime Apple consumer, you're gonna disrespect me, by telling me to come back another day.  For a concert?  I refuse to hear that and am not willing to accept that as an answer.  There's no other time for me to come back here and I'm not trekking up to 57th St.  This isn't a rock venue- its a store.  Mr Jobs wouldn't like to hear this story, y'know.

Her answer remained the same:  "But when the show begins, I don't think that you and our tech people will be able to hear anything, and its not good for them or you."  I told her that I wasn't the least bit interested in her concert promotion and the Consumer 101's Answer to Question 1 on the final: THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

Go Strong to the Hole

I told her, "Guess what? We will have to make due when that time comes."  Ms. Fasttalker says, "Well, it may take a half-hour to see someone- these people seated at the Bar are ahead of you".  I told her I had a newspaper, my phone and an iPod to keep me occupied while I wait.

And I waited...  This gave me enough time to text my buddy and my wife the BS I was encountering.  (Missus Coach just happens to be a nonconfrontationalist (unless its me versus her), my friend is a "give em  hell" guy.)  Then an epiphany hit me:  Lets just call the Apple HQ toll free number, and see what customer support guide THEY live by.

'THE PARTY YOU HAVE REACHED....(Slim Shady)...IS NOT AVAILABLE TO TAKE YOUR CALL, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AT.....beep!

They Are Who We Thought They Are !

Well, the wait was 40 minutes.  Because the store told many customers (fuckin' sheep) who arrived after me that they would not be seen- the Genius Bar cleared up very fast and I successfully saw a Genius and received a replacement iPod.   I told him there we 6000 songs to grab and have fun.

Oh, another manager appeared as I was leaving and says, "I have a call here from someone (probably Ms Slim Shady at Apple World HQ) you called at Apple.  Would you like to speak to her or has your problem been solved?"

No, I don't want your phone.  She has my number, but do tell her that I am satisfied with technical support but do not care for your in-store support system.

HARD WORK ON 3!  1-2-3 HARD WORK!